When is enough a enough?
We are creatures of habit for better or worse. We do the same stupid shit over and over. Usually this goes on until something gives, and often, nothing ever does. So we get stuck repeating the same mistakes, stuck in the same routines, forever.
Why is this?
I really wish I knew. I have seen in myself and others a combination of factors. Fear of the unknown, comfortability, mixed feelings, and other deep-rooted psychological issues battle it out beneath the surface and leave us unable to make rational decisions, and thus change.
It’s also just easier to do the same thing; it’s what we know. We enjoy comfort and familiarity. We ostracize and condemn that which we don’t understand. Familiar always wins.
I wonder if people change. I feel like parts of them do, maybe they get better at certain things, but deep down, I think we still remain the same. We tend to have the same beliefs and view the world through our own particular lenses for our entire lives. Over time we learn to adjust for various situations from what life has taught us, but we still remain mostly us, just a bit wiser.
We all suffer tragedy at some point in our lives. For most, this seems to be the trigger to make some much needed changes. When faced with the reality of death, we usually learn that most of the crap in this world that we make important is just that: crap. Now, this isn’t universal by any means. Some do better than others dealing with loss. Some find an opportunity to grow and live better while others may sink into depression and suffer.
I often think of dying. Not in a morbid-emo way though. I think of death objectively: what will it look like, who will be upset, how will I look as a cadaver on the stainless steel table, etc. This is actually a Stoic technique known as negative visualization.The goal is to visualize losing what you hold dear. You should routinely consider death, or losing your loved ones or home. This will help you realize that you have what you have right now and you will appreciate it more.
I notice that when I visualize death, and how real it seems when formed in my mind’s eye, I get angry at myself for holding back on the things I know I should be doing. “You only live once” and “life is short” starts popping in my head, and it feels very real.
It helps you realize how pointless it is to care about money, gossip, what others think, and all the other crap that we let dictate our lives every single day. And I know many of you are held back by your beliefs, it comes with being human.
Take a minute to think about your death. Hopefully it will open your eyes to what you have right now and allow you to appreciate what deserves to be appreciated and discard what needs to be discarded.
Let go of the bulshit holding you back. Get out of that toxic relationship. Quit that job making you miserable. Break-up with those friends that drag you down. Stop repeating the same mistakes.
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